A Man's Guide to Looking Smart

Over my life I have had a few people comment on how smart I am. But people who know me well know that this is not the case. So the real question is why do some people get fooled into thinking I am smart? I have spent some time trying to figure out how I fooled these people so I can use these techniques to fool more people.

Now could it be because I am always right? No - I got married and have learned in a short time that even when I am right which is like 107% of the time I am still wrong. I have not scientifically figured out how this is possible but it just is so this theory is out.

Now could it be my abnormally large head size? The large dome runs in the Bentley family. However my large dome can be contributed to several factors. The main factor being at a young age while watching the team figure skating olympic events my father decided to give the event a try in the living room. I played the part of the lady skater being tossed in the air. Now at the age of 6 I had yet to perfect the triple sow cow (just looked it up and apparently it is a salchow so totally did went my whole life not knowing that) maneuver in the air. So mine was more like a half cow half dying duck that resulted in me landing on my head and being rushed to the emergency room. This led to my head being inflated the rest of my life and there is nothing Tom Brady can do to deflate it. Also this serious head injury probably resulted in me think skaters were performing a move called a sow cow.

This leaves one plausible reason people could actually think I am smart. My looks. Now the only thing bigger than my large head is my belly so looking smart for me means dressing smart and dressing smart means Argyle. Argyle is like some fancy print of diamonds (woman's best friend) on the front of a sweater that just scream awesome. Now in the Declaration of Independence Thomas Jefferson mentioned something about Freedom and Liberty and kicking the snot out of Britain. Thomas Jefferson is like the smartest man ever however he did not wear Argyle. Bob Knight did. And Bob Knight knew a thing or two about kicking the snot out of people. So based on this we can determine that wearing argyle makes you look smart. Argyle also goes great with blue jeans. Below is photographic evidence.

Bob Knight in Argyle

 

Perfect for a family photo - rocking a argyle sweater vest with blue jeans.

Looking smart reading The Farside. Bottoning up the dress shirt to the top adds like 10 IQ points on the looks scale.  

This picture says many things. I just hope genius is one of them. (Photographer and additional participant Eric Gray and a stray cat)

 

As you can see from the above barrage of brilliance, wearing argyle will fool anyone into thinking you are as smart as that dude who invented the hot dog. You will also look ridiculously good looking. So next time you are trying to impress someone with your smarts without sacrificing your looks - go Argyle. Hope these outfit ideas are inspirational to you.

 

Not sure if this qualifies as argyle but it is awesome and if you don't think so Coach Knight will make you go night night...