From Hick to Fashion Guru - A Cinderella Story

When people think of fashion they usually do not think a hick from deep in the sticks would know anything about it. I grew up half way up a mountain deep in the woods up a gravel road named Gut Creek Road. In those days you did not worry about fashion so much as a hungry bear will eat you no matter what you are wearing so we were forced to go for speed not style. Whatever Ma bought on her trips to the "city" was what I wore to school. The city was a town called Kalispell which had about 10,000 people living in it at the time. It was about a 90 minute drive from the house to get there. Someday I will pull out some good pictures on throwback Thursday of my looks in that day, it included colored pants and t-shirts with wierd sayings and stuff.

I was and am a hick, my spelling and grammar does a good job of showing this. So the rest of this blog is a story on a fashion lesson I learned in the city of Seattle prior to the city being overrun by darn hipsters. Photos by Yael.

As a 22 year old I took an internship in Olympia Washington. That summer my friend Yael, who lived in the Seattle area, was having her 21st birthday. Yael invited myself and our friend Terrance to come celebrate with her and a group of people in Seattle. Terrance met me at my house and as we were walking out the door I got a text that said something like "the place we are going is nice so dress up." Terrance came up with a T-shirt and Cargo Shorts, and I was planning on wearing something similar. So looking in the closet on what I brought over from Montana with me I had a couple polos and some jeans. Of course Polos was really dressing up for a college kid in Butte Montana so I thought well I am good, this polo only has 1 hole in it and it is from Aeropostale which is a really fancy store so no problem. I texted Yael back and said "jeans and a polo are good right?" and the response I got back was something like "You are such a hick - no like slacks and a dress shirt."

So fashion lesson #1 for the day dressing nice is not worn out jeans and a Polo.

So as me and Terrance sat there debating our next move for dressing up to go to the big city we decided to hit up a Target on our way there. We made it to Target and found some slacks and some dress shirts for about $20 a piece. I think I had black pants so I was not sure what would be a good match. I asked the cashier between two shirts and she was able to pick out a proper outfit for me. It was at this time I learned fashion lesson #2 - brown does not go with black. I pondered if I should get a black belt instead of my brown one but ended up deciding to take the risk and wear a brown one.

Took me a couple more years to figure out what to do with the cuffs

 

We rolled into Seattle about 15 minutes early and found a parking spot near the establishment. Still wearing our shorts and t-shirts, we stripped down in the parking lot and put on our fancy clothes for our big night on the town. It was after I put my slacks on and fancy shirt that I realized my holey tennis shoes looked a little out of place... So I went into this bar with a brown belt with black pants and holey tennis shoes. We scouted out the dining area and found a spot where I could hide my shoes.

Is Terrance looking down my shirt?

We had a great time at the birthday celebration, Bill Gates opened a tab at the bar for a bunch of international Microsoft executives who were in town. One of the executives from Scotland we talked to for a while and at the end he called me a bloody bloke which I think translates to buddy in America so I feel like I have a good connection to all that Microsoft money. After this I decided I would no longer be embarraseed by my ignorance to fashion. This lesson was intramental in me creating the unique style I have today that combines max comfort with max fashion, and because of this I qualify myself to be part of the only male fashion blog written by hicks. From Hick in the sticks to Male fashion guru.

To summarize -
Jeans and polo great for a fancy outing in Montana not so great in Seattle.
Brown and Black goes together like toothpaste and orange juice
The whole outfit needs to be planned including shoes
Yuppies do not understand speed or comfort.

Dramatization: Not the real shoes I was wearing